Attention to the blog has been lax as of late but this is not a symptom of my studies in the arts of mind, body, and soul. I’ve introduced coherent breathing to my daily yoga practice and since I’m still in the beginning stages, anxiety relief is short lived but it is getting longer every day even by a few minutes. The body, after yoga, feels awake and physical relief is long term as long as I practice daily which is to say if I skip a day, the aches and pain do come back not long after.
While I have nearly a dozen pages of ideas to write for Effing Mindful, I am finding myself at a loss for words not only on Effing Mindful but also on other topics. A blog I write graphic novel reviews for lightly admonished me recently that I was to no longer receive ARCs since I was woefully behind on my submissions by like months. Connected to this is I am losing potential paid writing work because I cannot find the motivation to apply but also work on samples needed for the applications. I cleaned out some notes on a book I started years ago and found this was nearly the sixth time I’ve rebooted the project. I have no reason as to why these things are happening or why I am so reluctant to do the work but I can say seeing how much I have lost in terms of potential earnings and work most recently is sobering.
Another reminder of my lost writing work came today when I received a submission to a ‘zine I wanted to publish back in the spring of 2017. I did very little advertising, relying mostly on Duotrope to do the work for me, which wasn’t enough since I received very few submissions. I nearly forgot the ‘zine in its entirety until the submission appeared in my inbox. I wrote back to the author releasing the piece back to them and deleted the blog. The ‘zine was not the only blog I removed as I also deleted effing gratitudes since its purpose was short lived. a courtesan poet, the poetry blog I wrote for the month of April, was also deleted because I hated the name and I wanted to start submitting the work to other publishers and many of those publishers won’t consider something if it’s already online, even on a personal blog.
I’m consolidating my publishing empire.
Lastly, I exported the posts from rituals of woo and imported them here to go on to then deleted the blog because having that blog and this one seemed redundant.
A couple of months ago, I wrote
I wanted spirituality to be incorporated into Effing Mindful because whether you are spiritual or religious, it all comes down to not only your sense of self but of community and ritual as well as a sense of belonging and lastly, of being grounded in your being which is literally the number one positive effect of living a mindful life.
That remains true. I wanted to keep rituals of woo up for posterity but I decided perhaps despite good intentions, being spread out all over the place was not in my favor. If you’re curious about the ideas I was beginning to explore with rituals of woo, the posts are marked with their own category. (I was doing a daily tarot card read for a while which I may start again because it helped with my anxiety by being able to work out what I was thinking.)
I’ve been working on the acceptance that just because there may be kinks in the process does not mean I am a failure or should I stop. I feel the hiccups in my writing work is directly parallel to my mindfulness work. I have finally found a practice that is working for me right now but it took many months of venturing into other practices to find something that fits. I don’t know if my current practice will be long term but that’s okay as I have today and that is what is most important.